(Ya No Estoy) Loco por Volverte a Ver

A pop-reggaeton song grabbed me from the first day I arrived in Lima. I had heard the song in sundry ambient settings: usually while in a taxi or combi, or while eating at a menú restaurant. The song's swaying beats and catchy lyrics penetrated my subconscious in no time, and I found myself humming its choral tune while cooking, shaving, and e-mailing.

None of my friends in Lima knew who actually sang the song. In truth, I was somewhat embarrassed to admit loving it, because the song seemed to be this summer's bubblegum pop hit in Peru. I was reluctant to reveal to new friends my secret admiration for what probably amounted to the Peruvian version of Justin Timberlake (the singer really did sound like early JT in Spanish -- their voices share a cuddly, high-pitched boyishness).

Another stumbling block to my figuring out who sang the song was that I barely understood the lyrics in Spanish. It wasn't just that I couldn't translate the lyrics into English; I also couldn't discern the exact words being sung. And so whenever I mustered up the courage to ask someone if she knew who sang this mysterious but wildly popular song, I could only say, "You know, the one that goes, 'Duh-duh-dah-duh-duh-dah-duuuhuhuh!'" Needless to say, that tactic didn't get me very far.

Well, finally, in mid-May, Leigh Campoamor e-mailed me an exciting message: from the empleada next door, she learned that the song in question was called "No puedo volverte a ver" and that it was sung by the Cumbia Kings. I was elated. I thought I had found the Holy Grail of sappy reggaeton. I immediately went to Google to find a site where I could listen to the song.

Unfortunately, my search was in vain. Even with quotation marks around the song's title, I found only a handful of sites that mentioned the exact phrase "No puedo volverte a ver." And the group the Kumbia Kings (with a "k," not a "c") didn't seem to have such a song in their repertoire. I was so disappointed. How could such a popular song elude me for so long?

On the penultimate night of my stay in Lima, I met a group of Peruvian students through my friend Rosana (whom I had met at a French expat birthday party about a month earlier). We went out for drinks and dancing in Jesus Maria, a distinctly non-touristy district in Lima. I was quite pleased to be going someplace with which I had very little familiarity; it was my last great adventure, outside of Miraflores, in Lima.

Anyway, at some point in the evening I thought I'd ask one of Rosana's friends if he knew the song I was dying to get information about. In broken Spanish, I told him I was going to hum a few lines from the song's chorus. I then did my old shtick of singing, "Duh-duh-dah-duh-duh-dah-duuuhuhuh!" Rosana's friend paused for a moment, and then said those magical words: he knew exactly which song I was talking about. He told me the song's title, and I committed it to memory.

Well, almost... The next day I e-mailed Leigh excitedly and said, "One of the Peruvian guys I met last night told me the song I desperately want to hear has the main lyric, 'Loco volver que a ver,' or perhaps 'Loco por volver aver.' At any rate, the lyric basically says, 'I'm crazy to see you again.'"

I knew my version of the lyrics weren't exactly correct, as further Google searches didn't turn anything up of significance. But Leigh's response to my message struck gold: "i guess it'd be 'loco por volverte a ver.' that makes sense grammatically. hope you can find it!"

Sure enough, the song I had spent four maddening months looking for turned out to be: Chili Fernandez's "Loco por volverte a ver." Not only that, but the Kumbia Kings did in fact have their own version of the song -- I'm just not sure whether they or Chili recorded it first. At any rate, my quest was over, my Google search complete, and I had located enough pirated YouTube "music videos" of Chili's version (my preferred version) to make me happy for a long time to come.

Here's an example of one such music video posted online. Note the use of manga images here; the Japanese animated art is all the rage in Peru these days.



Isn't that awesomely sappy... yet true?

Now that I'm back in the States, listening to it constantly on a repeated loop, I've realized something very interesting about the lyrics (see below) of this song. While the song's title is "Loco por volverte a ver" -- "dying to see you again" (thanks, Justin) -- its main lyric actually reads, "Ya no estoy loco por volverte a ver," or "I'm already not dying to see you again." And so although Chili slurs the "ya no estoy" in singing the lyric, and although the song as a whole is resolutely upbeat in tone and rhythm, this is all about heartbreak, not falling in love. "Don't think the world revolves around you," Chili sings, just before dropping the line, "I'm already over you" -- my paraphrase of "ya no estoy loco por volverte a ver."

Knowing this now -- that my four-month-long search for a starry-eyed, romantic ditty has instead revealed a bittersweet riposte to an ex-lover -- makes me appreciate "Loco por volverte a ver" even more, and it makes me think back on the own love I lost in Lima.

“Loco por volverte a ver” de Chili Fernandez
(from the Musicstar X website)

Que te llamo, que no olvido
y no puedo estar sin ti…
que me estoy volviendo loco
desde que no estas aqué
Que yo nunca encontraré
mis deseos de vivir
Y tu piensas que yo muero
pues ya ves que no es así

Rompí tus fotos cuando te marchaste de aquí
quemé tus cartas y no volví a pensar en ti
y me reía yo escuchando a tus amigos decir
que a todo el mundo le estás preguntando por mi.
Pasé las noches enteras bailando sin ti
ya no me duele tanto que tu no estés aquí
ya no me importa lo que pienses de mi
no creas que el mundo no gira sin ti

Coro:**
Ya no estoy loco por volverte a ver
ya no paso por tu casa
ya no llamo para ver si acaso estas ahí
Ya no estoy loco por volverte a ver
y me dicen mis amigos que he cambiado,
que yo estoy mejor sin ti…

Y el teléfono no vuelve a tener su ring ring
y mis amigas que siempre me querían dar
su pum pum, mami mami, pum pum, mami mami
Ya no hace falta llamarte, ya me convencí
que ya no duele tanto que tu no estés aquí
Ya no me importa lo que pienses de mi
no creas que el mundo no gira sin ti.

Coro:**
Ya no estoy loco por volverte a ver
ya no paso por tu casa
ya no llamo para ver si acaso estas ahí
Ya no estoy loco por volverte a ver
y me dicen mis amigos que he cambiado,
que yo estoy mejor sin ti…

YA NO PASO LAS NOCHES PENSANDO
QUE ERA YO EL QUE TE ESTABA FALLANDO
YA NO TENGO QUE ESTAR ESPERANDO
PORQUE EL TELEFONO POR MI ESTA SONANDO

Y AUNQUE TE SIGO, YA ME HAS VISTO Y YA ME CONVENCÍ
QUE NO PODÍA ESTAR CONTIGO, NO ERAS PARA MÍ,
Y SI TU SIGUES CONVENCIDA QUE LLORO POR TI
EL RITMO, EL DELIRIUM CANTA PARA TI

Pasé las noches enteras bailando sin ti
ya no me duele tanto que tu no estes aqui
y ya no me importa lo que pienses de mi
no creas que el mundo no gira sin ti

Coro:**
Ya no estoy loco por volverte a ver
ya no paso por tu casa
ya no llamo para ver si acaso estas ahí
Ya no estoy loco por volverte a ver
y me dicen mis amigos que he cambiado,
que yo estoy mejor sin ti…